Lemon With A Hint Of Happy

I am working on getting a degree or two in some things at UC Berkeley.

I like Star Trek.

And bats.

And Stephen King.

And, generally, life.


the truth is out there

(via fuckyeahdementia)

Blegh blegh blegh too much inside my own head

I am sixteen the first time-too young, too shy, and too soft to say “no.” He puts his hand on my thigh and I shiver a little. “What’s wrong?” he asks. I stare straight ahead and mumble, “I’m cold.” I hate the way his fingers feel. Hate their roughness and that I can tell how often he picks up a guitar by his hard callouses. I hate the way he makes jokes about the movie to distract me from his hand creeping up to my lap. I hate his sweaty smell. His patience. His persistence. His loud laugh. And yet, I stay silent. I remain seated. I do not say “no.”

It takes him three weeks and eight movies for him to slip his fingers behind my underwear and dig around a little. Immediately after wiping his hand on his pants, he turns to me and says, “Damn that guy really can’t act, can he?”

I tell myself I have no excuses. Nothing to say. Sure, he came over without an invitation, but I never asked him to leave. He walked through my front door one afternoon and said he had some movies he wanted to watch. “It’s always more exciting to see something for the first time with someone else,” he said. I didn’t say yes, but I didn’t say no. In my silence, he found exactly what he wanted to hear.

The ninth time he plopped down on the fraying couch beside me and turned the movie on he said, “Spread your legs. Do that thing with your mouth that I like so much.” I looked at him and grimaced. “There you go,” he smiled. “Keep doing that. Knowing I have to convince you makes me want you more.”

Now, when I tell him to leave, he laughs in my face. He says, “Oh, now you want me to go? After all the times you said nothing? Yeah, right. What’re you going to do, tell people I raped you or something? Don’t be such a baby.” I bite my lip and look away. I dig my nails into my thigh and try hard not to cry. Baby. Baby. Baby. Such a fucking baby, I think over and over again.

He’s got a point, I think. I can’t hate him if I never told him to stop. But then his sweaty fingers using force to pry my tightly closed thighs apart comes to mind. I think of how I sat there lifelessly as he offered me a massage. I think of my frowns. Of my lack of appetite. Of my shaking fingers and twitching mouth. I think of all the things that silence says, and not one of them is “yes.”

Silence Is Not A “Yes” | Lora Mathis (via lora-mathis)

(via cetaprincipissa)

I may have to give up my ideas for a thesis and just do related work to what a grad student working with my advisor s doing because he doesn’t seem to think any of my ideas are feasible and that I can generate enough data quickly enough for a strong thesis.


Number 4: Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind. Environmentalist messages that are unfortunately even more relevant today. And a beautiful movie.

Number 3 is….Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro! The setting and look and music of this movie definitely make it a favourite of mine.

Went to see Sir Paul McCartney at the farewell to Candlestick show this week! He was fucking amazing and fun and wonderful and Dant and I just danced around like dorks and enjoyed the music and it was just such a happy night

"My dear young man, the Minister of Magic wouldn’t have taken Hagrid if he hadn’t been one hundred percent sure that he was guilty," [he] said, in the tone of someone explaining that one and one made two.

- Who said it: Gilderoy Lockhart or someone defending the racist PIC


Want an awesome Star Trek Backpack or Messenger bag? Want it for free? Then this is the post for you!

With school starting up all too soon (sorry for the reminder) I figured it was a good time for my etsy shop To Boldly Hold to have another giveaway,

There will be TWO prizes: ONE custom backpack and ONE messenger bag with the fabric of your choice!

There will be TWO winners selected. The first winner has their pick between backpack and messenger bag; the second winner receives what the first does not select.

To enter you are allowed ONE REBLOG and ONE LIKE per day. Each note gets you one entry and I’ll use a random number generator to pick the winner. (I’m not responsible for any tumblr fuckary i.e. lost reblog’s or likes.)

You do not have to follow me to enter- however, if you like Star Trek enough to use one of these bags, I’d say you have a good chance of liking my blog.

The giveaway will close on Friday August 15th at 9PM PST. The winner will be tagged in a post and I’ll also send an ask, so be sure yours is open. The winners will have 24 hours to respond to the message. If I don’t receive a response within 24 hours, I will select another recipient.

Good luck!

This is number 2 in my set! It was two, ~30 minute episode-like things with the same characters. I feel like maybe there are more somewhere? Definitely more of just a cute thing for kids than many of the other movies (with morals about environmentalism and how the bad guys aren’t always easy to recognize or without redeeming qualities), but it was super cute. Also random video game sound effects when she did that handstand? Lots of great sound effects all the time.

So I’ve decided to go through my Studio Ghibli bootlegged box set in order, and the first movie is The Little Norse Prince AKA The Sun Prince-Hols’ Great Adventure AKA Horus: Prince of the Sun AKA Little Prince Valiant. It was interesting to compare to the later films directed by Miyazaki (as this one was directed by Isao Takahata) and the newer films as well. One thing that really stuck out to me was that a lot of the violent scenes were done as kind of slideshows of stills instead of continued action. Also, many of the characters’ faces seemed to be drawn in extremely different art styles, as if they were all from different movies.

Probably not going to be one of my favorites, but still charming and adorable and entertaining!

The West Wing Rewatch
: O Canada in ‘Dead Irish Writers’ (3x15)

(via mrrdith)